Yesterday, I read a blog post that encouraged me. I also watched Joyce Meyers message this morning and thus was inspired to write today…
For many years, I lived in a world feeling defeated. Every time that I tried to do something new, I would just fail at it. I think the hardest part about the feeling of failure was just watching everyone else succeed around me.
I would go over to my friends houses and see their creative decorating skills displayed throughout their homes and then instead of being happy for them, I would just walk away sad for me.
I would flip through their scrapbooks that were so well put together and instantly a wave would come over me that would make me feel that “I wasn’t good enough”. To make things worse, I would then go home and try to decorate my home like I had seen and only end up making more holes in my walls. My scrapbooks still sit in my closet today with only one or two pages complete (and of those pages, I had to have help).
Not only did I find defeat meet me in the creative realm, I also struggled with it in my relationships too.
To me it seemed like everyone else had “the perfect marriage” or seemed to be “the best mom”. I mean what it in the world was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I just be like everyone else? I spent YEARS wearing:
defeat, jealousy, failure, discontent and self-pity.
Although I grew up in the church, I still did not understand the depth of Christ LOVE for me or the fullness that is found within it. On my journey to discover Him and the power of His love, God began to remove those feelings that had such a stronghold over me for all of my life. He began to open my eyes to my real identity.
Nothing about me has changed BUT I have discovered some truths…
-My husband is an excellent decorator.
-My kids are happiest if I just give them five minutes of my attention
-I can buy pre-made scrapbooks
-My friends were all feeling the same way that I was (they didn’t have it all together either)
– God has a great purpose for my life
Romans 8:37 – In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.